so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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