ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
