Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
