hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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