Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
