I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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