i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
