At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
