Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
