Whoa Z and x make the same sound
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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