Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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