I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
