next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
