life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
