I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
