Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
