So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Randomize
