I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
