where am i from again
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
