sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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