Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
