bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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