yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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