I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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