Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
