I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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