dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
