oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize