Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
