I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
