I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
