It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
