Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The uberlube is also flammable
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
