Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
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I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
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I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize