Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
