What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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