PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
