And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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