my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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