The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Blood and glitter go together right?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
