I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
