we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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