i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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