Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
