I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
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Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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