$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize