I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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