definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
