I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
