I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize