Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
