I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
