Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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