And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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