I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
