she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
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He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize