In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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